Handsome was the founder, leader, coach, referee, and heart of Aloha City Rollers. Handsome coached with tough love and his boot camps were grueling but those who endured his training and boot camps became roller derby badasses. Handsome’s strictness of the rules and skills created skaters with above minimum roller derby skills and with amazing team spirit. Although Handsome could come off as an asshole sometimes he deeply cared for the skaters and wanted skaters to be successful. Skaters not only had to overcome physical challenges of learning how to roller skate, then how to play the sport of roller derby, they also had to overcome many mental challenges. Handsome was there for skaters on all levels and often stayed hours after practice helping skaters one on one with skills or sitting talking about life’s problems. At the end of every practice, scrimmage, and bout Handsome gathered all the skaters in a circle and had them put their hands in the middle. Handsome would talk about how things went, he would pontificate wisdom, an then Handsome would lead the cheer. After the cheer Handsome made everyone hug which was out of a lot of people’s comfort zone but it helped to create more than a team, ACR was a family. ACR not only trained together but also ate meals together, hung out on holidays and went on fun adventures together forming friendships that will last long after the skates stop rolling.

Handsome had an alter ego, Beefcake (which was Handsome with a goatee), that came out at boot camp and practices when skaters started slacking off. If you thought Handsome was tough, Beefcake bumped things up a notch with extra challenging training. Handsome was a highly skilled skater and skated nearly daily at practices, doing tricks on skates, jumping on skates, and was known for jumping skaters. Handsome jumped 5 brave skaters during a practice and there is a picture in the slideshow above!

On March 18, 2013 Handsome’s esophagus burst due to a malfunction and he was not expected to live. Members of Handsome’s roller derby family were immediately by his side in the emergency room after the ambulance brought him in and it was the love and support of ACR and the global roller derby community that gave him the will to survive this catastrophic illness that kills 93% of people it happens to. After 5 months in the hospital Handsome wanted to get on skates and lead practices but had a tube feeder was very weak. After 9 months he was able to get off the tube feeder but he suffered malnutrition and now had weakened bones. When he was able to return to coaching within a few months he broke his collar bone let it heal then not even a year later broke it again. Handsome’s body was no longer able to handle the brutal sport of roller derby and he could not control himself at practices refraining from contact so Handsome was forced to retire from roller derby. Handsome was the heart of Aloha City Rollers and once he was no longer leading and coaching ACR the league was not the same and eventually ended. To read the full blog account of Handsome’s illness click here.

Handsome called his students grasshoppers to encourage them to keep moving forward.

Handsome’s coaching has influenced skaters from Hawaii and from two boot camps he held in Japan with many of these skaters going on to continue to play roller derby all over the World. Handsome’s coaching mentally and physically prepared skaters not only for playing roller derby but also Life.

These Are My Grasshoppers poem written by Square Peg for Handsome and she put it on a Tshirt for him Fall 2010


Handsome receiving the book of Handsomeisms at the ACR 1st birthday party.

Handsome would often pontificate profound words of wisdom during practices to motivate and inspire skaters which were lovingly referred to as Handsomeisms. Handsome loved writing haiku and poems. Handsome had his boot camp attendees also write haiku poems to describe themselves and their desire to play roller derby.

Below is a collection of Handsomeisms poems and haikus by Handsome from a book of Handsomeisms given to Handsome on ACRs first birthday.

Handsome was an inspirational leader, motivational roller derby coach and all around badass.

Together We Rock

I work hard for my Derby Family. Always have.
All I ask in return is that you work hard to be the best you can be.
I will bust my hump to motivate you, to keep you challenged and to make you badass.
There is no quit in me. There is no quit in we. We are greater than me.
Together, we rock. We are Rockstars!


The carpenter builds a wall with wood and nails.
The mason builds a wall with brick and mortar.
The athlete builds a wall with anxiety and fear…
The coach breaks that wall, building character.

Your Choice

Choose to Rock, I shall rock with you ’till dawn.
If you wish to dance, I shall dance with you ’till my socks are off.
If Badass is your quest, we shan’t return until we’re the baddest.
Should you decide to quit, I will miss you.


Challenge Reveals you.
Accept or decline,
Think and plot and plan,
Discuss and bargain,
Cheat and fake and lie,
Do or do not.
Explain and excuse,
Blame and Reason,
Work hard and succeed,
Work hard and fail,
Learn and adapt,
Who are you?
If you know, there is no challenge.

Pursuit of Happiness

You have the right to the pursuit of happiness.
Are you exercising your right?
Do you float on the tide in the hope happiness will brush by your tentacles or do you go against the current to find it?


If I fail I have gained the experience and lost nothing. Back where I started and wiser.

I Challenge You

I don’t talk to stones or jars or boxes.
I prefer that my friends and loved ones are in the living condition to tell them that they mean so much to me, that I’m happy we met and they have been a positive force in my life…
Why wait till they’re gone?
This week I challenge you to change someone’s life by telling them how they changed yours.

Be More Like You

Have more questions than answers.
Jump at more opportunities and fewer conclusions.
Be more like you.


One FIVE is more valuable than five ONEs.


110% contains at least 20% bullshit

New Years Eve

Talking to a fine gentleman on New Years Eve who, as we were commenting on the bravery of youth at play, said “I’ll be just fine not riding the roller coaster.” I started thinking… A derby girl would never say that! (Not to me!)


Life isn’t how long you’re breathing.
It’s what takes your breath away.


You can use it, waste it, take it, and kill it.
You can’t buy any more of it.
But you can make time for free.

The Game of Life

Life is a game.
It’s fun, challenging, and unpredictable.
It has players and spectators.
A beginning and an end.
It involves skill, chance, and endurance.
Wanna play?

Improve On Your Yesterday

Compare yourself to your former self.
Work to improve on your yesterday.

Give And Take

Life is full of compromise.
Give and take.
All give and no take is surrender.


You have already failed if you think what I ask of you is impossible.

These Are My Skates

These are my skates.
There are many like them, but these are MINE.
My skates without me are useless.
Without my skates I am useless.
My skates are human because they are my life.
I will learn their weakness, strengths, and parts.
I will keep my skates clean and ready.
We will become part of each other.

Finding Happiness

Turning outward to find happiness you will not be satisfied, it’s source is within you.


What fears have you overcome?
What are you still afraid of?
It’s okay to have fear.
Fearlessness is insane.
Have the strength to venture.
To persevere.
To withstand fear in the face of danger and difficulty.
This is courage.
This is bravery.
These are your Lady-Balls.

Derby Girl Ingredients

Derby Girl Ingredients: Love, Beauty, Exuberance, Determination, Courage, Anxiety, Knowledge, Skill. (May include artificial colors)


The greatest danger is to not take the risk.

The Game

How far behind do you have to be when it’s okay to give up?
How much time is left on the clock when it’s okay to stop giving it your best?
When you believe in each other 100% you never give up and always give it your all!
That is the journey. That is the game. That is why you came.

No U in US

If for you there is an I in Team, then there is no U in us.


Scream all you want, the deaf aren’t listening.

Inside Your Head

If you are taking a lot of time inside your head running over the same thoughts in order to satisfy a need for craziness; try talking to someone else, they are usually quite willing to share some of theirs.


When you’re driving, remember that the f’er who cuts you off without a turn signal, leaves a 300′ gap in front in gridlock, and is just in your way and wont move…. has a family too. People who love them. You are not a special snowflake. You don’t drive unselfishly or without error. Don’t create a story in your head to justify your anger. Create one for forgiveness. We’re all stuck on this crazy orb together.


If you get comfortable outside your comfort zone,
you need a new definition of comfort zone.

Pooping Your Mental Pants

Check your helmet, I think you just pooped your mental pants!

The Peacock

We see the peacock and say…
Wow, such a beautiful bird…
Such fabulous feathers.
The peacock looks down and thinks…
I have such ugly feet.

Small Tasks

Thru small tasks do great adventures follow.


Remember that you used to be a crying, pants pooping whiney baby.
Remember that you were a wide eyed kindergartner.
Remember that you were a happy little kid.
Remember that you used to play, it didn’t natter what you played, won or lost, you just played.
Remember that you eagerly earned and made friends easily.
Don’t you remember? …Don’t you forget.

Worth The Risk

Be generous with your trust, friendship, love and affection. They’re valuable and if your protective of them you lose opportunities to know really cool people. So, you will misplace it once in a while…and it’ll hurt. It is totally worth the risk.

Mask Of Invulnerability

One who chooses the mask of invulnerability
Hopes you don’t see the tears dripping from behind it.


Let your strength come from your gentleness.

Speak Simple

Speak in a simple, down to Earth way. It shows you care about who you are talking to.


Look attentively, and you hear beyond words.
Listen well, and you see what is invisible.
Do not think anything, and you will learn.

Comfort Zone

The Comfort Zone.
The cover my ears and eyes zone.
The I’ve done everything I ever wanted as long as it was easy zone.
The I’m totally satisfied with the status quo zone.
The not for me if I have to use effort zone.
The I don’t really want to know that much about myself zone.
The I don’t want any scars zone.
Get out of your bullshit zone once in a while. You are not a house-cat.

What’s It Worth?

What is your pain really worth?
How much $$ would you pay to stop the squats pain in your quads?
Is that more or less $$ than you’d take to do more squats?
Think about it.

Rise Above It

Shrink, and little things become a big deal.
Step back and you can see more of the picture.
See it from different angles and change your perspective on it.
Rise above it, and see how small it really is.

Raise The Bar

Life is not a limbo contest. Raise the bar, then go for it.

No Filter

Should every thought rush,
To escape through your sweet lips,
Expect to taste foot.


A baby blue bird,
Nudged flightless from the nest,
Will try; fail or fly.

Jammer Helmet Cover Mantra

This is our Jammer helmet cover.
It isn;t your underwear.
It isn’t a shower cap.
It is made in our team colors to snug fit on your helmet.
On your helmet is all the way on,
I want to see it over the brim so you ar reminded of what it means to all of us.
This cover represents our Jammer on our team,it does not represent you alone.
It means there are points on the track for us to take.
We are honored to wear it with dignity and treat it with respect.
Others have worn it before you, and many will wear it after you.
It will be worn well, and become well worn.
We rock our stars with pride!

Get Off The Couch

Aptitude does not come from a soft cushion.

Good Friends Are Priceless

You can have steak and lobster, open bar, in a fancy place, with apathetic company. I’ll take beans and rice, a beer, in a comfy place, with good friends.

One Thing

Some may like you simply for the one thing you have in common.
Some may hate you simply for that one thing that’s different.

Mind’s Letter To Heart

Dear Mind,
I want to thank you for sticking up for me and believing in me. We don’t always agree and you’ve shown me that if it’s important to me, it’s important to you, too. The faith you have to follow me takes so much courage. I appreciate that. I know sometimes I can be terrifying and contradictory, and the anxiety is hard to cope with. Don’t be afraid of changes, we’ve been through a lot of them together and that’s what made us who we are. Thank you for always being so understanding.
I love you.
Faithfully yours,

Don’t Wait

Don’t wait for the last chance to take your chance.
Don’t wait for the last song to dance.

You Do

Some tasks will not be understood without doing.
Diagrams, explanations, models, maps and diorama do not do.
You do.

Lessons In Karaoke

There are lessons in Karaoke:
You don’t hafta be a good singer, just don’t be afraid.
It’s important that you are having uninhibited and ambitious fun.
Imperfection is not a reason to deny us your voice!
Your audience is a part of your performance.
It’s not the place, it’s the people.


Surround yourself with someone other than yourself. You really don’t need to alter your persona. There are more than seven billion people in the World, some of them are pretty cool, you need to look for friends to find one. Friends and fools – they’re all over the place.

Be True To Yourself

Are we not all things except for the category?
We are all rich, poor, happy, sad, loving, hating, anxious, patient, chasing, fleeing, up, down, weird, normal, unusual, regular, crazed and sand.
If you were once afraid are you always?
Can’t you live a rich life without lotsa money?
Get to know yourself and be comfortable with you.
Keep evolving. That is how to be true to yourself.

Chances To Be Awesome

Tell people what they mean in your life.
Tell them often.
Do you just leave home? No goodbye? Without an “I love you”?
Be affectionate.
Life isn’t about how long you can survive…
It’s each of your 30,000 days ….
Each of your 720,000 hours…
There are a lot of chance to be awesome in there.
Take some.

Never Give Up

My car broke down, I ran to the destination.
I hammered my thumb, And kept building the dream.
My heart was broken, I have loved better since.

Let It Slide

Have the ability to let that which does not truly matter slide.


Never be complete.
Having everything you want will not make you perfect.

Beautiful People

Smile at beautiful ugly people because you can see inside them.
Smile at ugly beautiful people because you can see through them.

Fantastic Human

Some wish to be reincarnated as a bird…
not to set on a nest or poop from a tree.
They wish to fly – It’s the most fantastic thing about birds.
Be the fantastic human that birds wish they were.

I Or We

After the game someone says “I shouda, coulda, woulda…”
After the game someone else says “We were awesome!”
Did I play or did we?

Embrace Mistakes

An artist working clay fears mistakes because he can start over.
An artist working stone embraces them because he can’t.

Mind Prison

Your mind is imprisoned.
You have imagined the bars and the lock, the cell and the prison.
As with the law, the practice is the study, the sentence is the punishment.
Practice to find the weakness in what constrains.
If you only look to the bars you won’t see there are no walls or roof to hold you back.


I have this crazy belief that people are trustworthy.
When I am wrong about this, I become cautious.
I will not be a mental slave to anxiety.
Though it may be childish to be trusting,
To be cynical leaves me feeling old and dead inside.
Fuck that.

Teen Version Of You

Would the teen version of yourself be impressed? Shocked? Confused?
“HEY! We were supposed to be ___________! What happened?”
They told us we could be whatever we wanted, that if we wanted it bad enough,
if we “set our mind to it” it would happen.
I coulda used a better explanation of what all that crap meant.
Alas, here we are.
Our future selves are clearly not coming to set the past straight,
and want does not equal get.
Impress the now you, it’s the ever evolving you.
Make a new _________ and whatever it is make sure you’re a happy __________!

End Of Life

You will not find someone nearing the end of life proclaim;
“I am so proud to have made enemies of possible friends, and I’m glad that I was stubborn, unyielding, and unforgiving.

Living Or Surviving

At my job at the botanic garden, I work hard. I listen to the birds songs. I watch the plants grow and thrive, I am attentive to their needs. I see the variety of butterflies flutter from one colorful flower to the next. I enjoy the fragrant blossoms and the smell of the soil and grass, the rain. I see the joy and amazement of visitors and I smile…
Are you living, or surviving.
There is a difference.


If you whitewash a tree, it is still a tree.
If you trim its branches, it is still a tree.
If you remove its foliage, it is still a tree.
If you cut it and it falls, it is still a tree.
If you take away its unique individuality, it is wood.


To choose inaction,
Faced with adversity,
Is great sacrifice.

Live Now

Some believe there is an afterlife…and abstain from living in hopes of it.

Pushing The Button

You push the button and you can hear the doorbell ring with a satisfying “ding-dong!”

You push the button and out slides a tasty snack or a refreshing beverage!”

In the lobby you press the button and it’s illuminated. Then when you’re in you’ll press the floor and the “door-close” button.

There’s an intersection across from where I take my lunch at work. For an hour I watch one pedestrian after the other whack the crossing button. (Most of them hit it 7 times!) If the traffic turns and no walk signal, they hit it again. The rotation of traffic signal is about a minute and twenty seconds; this is a sarcastically ridiculous amount of time to wait.

The signals are computer controlled based on vehicular traffic and most crossing buttons aren’t connected. Elevator door close buttons don’t work for you either. Eventually the light changes, the door closes. Ah, must’ve been the button.

Keyboards, door-locks, phones, elevators, crosswalks… We’re conditioned to press the button for action. We’re like Pavlov’s Dog … Like rodents in a cage. We have such an expectation that we are in control we don’t really know when we are pushing a placebo.

Some people are conditioned to push your button because they get a reaction when they do. Don’t let them have control. You are not made. You are not machinery. You are not programmed. You are not a button with a number on it. Don’t give that satisfying “Ding-dong!” when your button is pushed.

Grateful For The Reminder

I am grateful to have people in my life to remind me that I am not a doormat, a diplomat, or a housecat. I can’t be trampled, can’t please everyone, nor can I do nothing. Thank you for returning my stones to their proper location, I will be using them.


Is there “shit-optomism” and “shit-pessimism”?
Or is it simply “no-shit” and “full of shit”?

Free Yourself From Labels

She’s inattentive because she has Attention Deficit Disorder, frantic and impatient because of Hyperactive Disorder, neurotic and anally retentive due to Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, socially awkward from the Blahblah Syndrome…

Psychology, it seems, in an attempt to better understand people has created a great number of pidgeon holes to fit you into. However, once you are in the hole you lean against your acronym to explain yourself to everyone you think doesn’t understand you. Please don’t lean on that crutch around me. Fly outta that hole and free yourself from the labels. You are not packaged for sale and you shouldn’t come with a disclaimer that your contents may be damaged. Let’s never figure each other out. Let’s never put diagnoses on each other. Let’s continue to grow and evolve without restraints. Live with NPD – Normal Person Disorder.


Everyone can draw, paint, sing, play a musical instrument, or even skate. Though some are talented and their skill is enjoyed by others, few achieve mastery of their art. A person who does not put effort in an attempt has only mastered the failure to enjoy themselves.

Act With Ration

Handling each situation independently and promptly is reasonable and rational. One reaction to a compound of situations is an unreasonable act of desperation.

What You Think

It doesn’t matter how pretty you are if what you think is ugly.

Service and Servitude

Do not be confused
That service and servitude
Are not different.

Fat Grandma

“I’m old, I had TEN kids, and I like to eat ice cream.” That’s what my Grandma answered when I asked her why she’s fat. I was four years old. Kids ask questions because they want to understand. Protect their innocent curiosity with the sensitive lies and they can grow up knowing you’re fifty percent bullshit and mistrusting the half of you that isn’t. Easier to be real… Old people know this.

Brian’s Dead

Chris: “Did you hear what happened?
Me: “No, what?”
Chris: “Brian’s dead.”
Right then, I understood there’s no good reason to dance around with bad news, you just say what needs to be said. The things that are hard to hear are hard to say.

How He Lived

My father died rather young.
When people find out they want to know how he died.
What about how he lived?
That’s what really matters about a person, isn’t it?
I’d rather talk about a man who was funny.
The son of immigrants who trusted in God.
How he was a strict, short tempered disciplinarian.
Who worked hard and took work home to provide for us.
Who brought me along on his business trips so he could have time with me.
Who took me fishing and build models with me.
Who encouraged me, who I wanted to impress.
A man who struggled so that we’s want for nothing.
Who made me to know that he wasn’t my friend,
he was my father and that carried responsibilities.
He told bad rusty old jokes, drew and painted, and wanted a Corvette.
I can’t wish for him to be alive.
I can be someone he would be proud of if he was.

Shooting Rocket Ship Fuck

I don’t give a flying fuck.
I give a shooting rocket ship fuck.

What Kinda Ass Are You?

You’re an ass.
Everyone is.
What kind of ass are you?
or badass!
You have a choice of asses,
be a Badass!

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